#Laws4U – Laws 4 Life

A Compendium of Tweets #Laws4u 

 

1          If anything can go wrong, it will

#Laws4U      Sod’s Law (Murphy’s Law) 

 

2         Murphy was an optimist

 #Laws4U       O’Toole’s Commentary on Murphy’s Law

 

3          Anything that is to go wrong will do so at the worst possible moment

 #Laws4U        First Corollary to Sod’s Law

 

4          If anything just can’t go wrong, it will anyway

 #Laws4U        Murphy’s 3rd Law

 

5          Where several things may go wrong, the one causing most damage will be the first to go wrong

#Laws4U         Murphy’s 2nd Law

 

6          Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse

#Laws4 Murphy’s 5th Corollary 

 

7          If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

#Laws4U       Murphy’s 6th Law

 

8          Beware of, resist and eschew pompous prolixity

#Laws4U         Beardsley’s Admonition to Lawyers

 

9          Variables won’t; constants aren’t

#Laws4u     Osborne’s Law

 

10         Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in

#Laws4U         Forsyth’s Second Corollary to Murphy’s Laws

 

11        Nature always sides with the hidden flaw 

#Laws4u     Murphy’s 8th Law

 

12        Natural laws have no pity (AKA: “Mother Nature is a bitch”)

#Laws4u        Murphy’s 9th Law

 

13        In Nature, nothing is right. Accordingly, if everything is going right….something is wrong.

#Laws4u        Corollary to Murphy’s 7th Law

 

14        The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability

#Laws4u        Gumperson’s Law

 

15        The Golden Rule is – that there are no Golden Rules

#Laws4u     GB Shaw’s Golden Rule

 

16        1. Everybody makes generalisations

  1. All generalisations are false

 #Laws4u       Law of Generalisations

 

17        Nothing ever gets built on time or within budget

#Laws4u       Cheop’s Law

 

18        Carelessly planned projects take 3x longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project only twice as long

 #Laws4u      Golub’s Law

 

19        You can pretend to be serious you can’t pretend to be witty

#Laws4u    Guitry’s Postulate

 

 20        If the bread fell butter side up, it was buttered on the wrong side

#Laws4u    Sod’s Law Redux

 

21        The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights

#Laws4u    Getty’s Reminder 

 

22        The tyre is only flat on the bottom

#Laws4u    Fishbein’s Conclusion

 

23        Man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the grave

#Laws4u     Browne’s Epigram

 

24        Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them

#Laws4u     Boucicault’s Imperative 

 

25        A Robin Redbreast in a cage, Puts all Heaven in a rage

 #Laws4u    Blake’s Admonition 

 

26         The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction

#Laws4u       Blake’s Law

 

27        If you can’t imagine a 20% loss in prices, don’t be in the stock market

#Laws4u    Boyle’s Share Axiom

 

28        What goes up must come down

 #Laws4u    Gann’s Other Law

 

29        The Future’s Market will go up the day after you sell

#Laws4u    Broker’s By-Law

 

30        The market will rally from this or lower levels

#Laws4u    Stockbroker’s Law

 

31        Delay is the deadliest form of denial

#Laws4u    Parkinson’s Law of Denial

 

32      Any clause providing for alternative correct clauses means both are wrong

#Laws4u Yoseloff’s Law of Statute

 

33        4 is 1 more than more than enough

 #Laws4u    Pastore’s Liquor Law

 

34        Celibacy is not hereditary

#Laws4u     First Law of Socio-Genetics

 

35        Things always fall at right angles

#Laws4u    Sprinkle’s Paradigm

 

36        Everything sooner or later falls apart

  #Laws4u       Xerxe’s Imperative

 

37        If you’re coasting, you’re going downhill

#Laws4u         Pierson’s Law

 

38        Even with a 5 year old (A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on)

#Laws4u         Corrolary to Goldwyn’s Contract Law

 

39        A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on

#Laws4u    Goldwyn’s Contract Law

 

40         Some of it plus the rest of it equals all of it

#Laws4u         Trichologist’s Law

 

41        Even God can’t change the past, though historians can

#Laws4u         Butler’s Aphorism

 

42        If it should exist, it doesn’t

  1. If it does exist, it’s out of date
  2. Only useless documentation transcends the first two laws

#Laws4u           Arnold’s Law of Documentation

 

43        If at first you don’t succeed, read the manual

#Laws4u     Agathon’s Law

 

44        Bad regulation begets worse regulation

 #Laws4u   Montgomory’s Admonition

 

45        If All You Have Is A Hammer, Everything Looks Like A Nail

#Laws4u     Baruch’s Observation

 

46        Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men

#Laws4u    Huxley’s Imprecation

 

47        Misery is a match that never goes out

#Laws4u         Huxley’s Axiom

 

48        Virtue is its own punishment

#Laws4u          Denniston’s Law

 

49        Trust everybody, but cut the card

 #Laws4u    Dooley’s Law

 

50        The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets

#Laws4u      J Alfred Prufrock’s Omission

 

51        Things are more like they are now than ever before

#Laws4u             Ike’s Paradox

 

52        Last year’s was always better

#Laws4u       Law of Regressive Achievement

 

53        Somewhere, beyond space and time, is wetter water, slimier slime

#Laws4u      Brooke’s Law

 

54         More will mean worse

#Laws4u       Kingsley Amis’s Rule

 

55        The more alternatives, the more difficult the choice

 #Laws4u           D’Allainvval’s Laws of Choice

 

56        Here’s tae us; wha’s like us? Gae few, and they’re a’ deid!

#Laws4u         Scot’s Law of Diminishing Returns

 

57        The sooner every party breaks up, the better (Mr Woodhouse)

#Laws4u       Austen’s Party Law

 

58        Everybody should believe in something – I believe I’ll have another drink

#Laws4u         Dean Martin’s Postulate

 

 59        There is no safety in numbers – or in anything else

 #Laws4u    Thurber’s Law

 

60        The quality of the correlation is inversely proportional to the density of the control

#Laws4u     May’s Law

 

61        If a computer cable has one end, then it has another

 #Laws4u   Lyall’s Conjecture

 

62        Those who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made

#Laws4u      Willy’s Dicta

 

63        Nature will tell you a direct lie or misrepresentation whenever possible

 #Laws4u      Darwin ‘s Observation

 

64        Natural laws have no pity (Mother nature is not benign)

#Laws4u         Murphy’s 8th Law

 

65        Nature always sides with the hidden flaw

#Laws4u         Murphy’s 7th Law

 

66        Multiplication is vexation, Division is as bad, The rule of three doth puzzle me, And Practice drives me mad

#Laws4u         Napier’s Algorithm

 

67        Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn’t expect to be paid back.

#Laws4u   Steele’s Borrowed Aphorism

 

68        You pays your money and you takes your choice

#Laws4u      Hobson’s Other Law

 

69        When all else fails, read the instruction

#Laws4u    Walter’s Imprecation

 

70        It works better if you plug it in

#Laws4U             Sattinger’s Rule

 

71        Not much can go wrong with your computer, until you plug it in

  #Laws4u       Murphy’s Law of Passive Imperatives

 

72         1 You can’t win

2 You can’t break even

3 You can’t even quit the game

#Laws4u        Ginsberg’s Laws of Thermodynamics

 

73        All people are cremated equal

#Laws4u      Beauregard’s Second Law

 

74        The sum which when multiplied, divided, added or subtracted from your answer gives what you needed

#Laws4u      Q Law

 

75        You can see a lot by just watching

 #Laws4u        Law of Observation

 

76        Old worms never die, they just worm their way in to bigger cans

#Laws4u         Zymurgy’s 2nd Law of System Dynamics

 

77        Once you open a can of worms, you can only re-can them by opening a bigger can

#Laws4u            Zymurgy’s 1st Law of System Dynamics

 

78        An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less

#Laws4u      Expert Precept

 

79        To spot the expert, see who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most

#Laws4u      Expert’s Law

 

80        Nothing comes from nothing

#Laws4u      Lear’s Law of Tragedy

 

81        Familiarity breeds children

#Laws4u       Twain’s Law of Immutable Inevitability

 

82        It ain’t necessarily so

#Laws4u       Gershwin’s Law

 

Anything in parentheses can be (ignored)

83  #Laws4u     Seeger’s Law

 

84        You can work for posterity, but if you can get posterity to work for you, you’re winning

#Laws4u  Posterity Law

 

85        Given enough time, what you put off doing today will eventually get done by itself

#Laws4u    Law of Inertia

 

86        You need three umbrellas; one to leave at home, one to leave in the office, one to leave on the train

#Laws4u         Umbrella Maxim

 

87       All things being equal, all things are never equal

#Laws4u      Rule of Selective Equality

 

88        Doing it the hard way is always easier

 #Laws4u     Murphy’s Law of Paradox

 

89        Murphy’s Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by someone else with the same name

#Laws4u      Law of Murphy’s Law

 

90         What we learn from history is – that we don’t learn from history

#Laws4u    Law of History

 

91        Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet

#Laws4u     Abraham Lincoln’s Retrospective Rule

 

92        If I’d asked what they wanted, they’d have said “a faster horse”

 #Laws4u       Henry Ford’s rule of Customer Surveys

 

93        Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut

#Laws4u   Barber’s Law of Experts

 

94        You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on

 #Laws4u    Dean Martin’s Rule of Intoxication

 

95        Don’t interview Emu

#Laws4u     Corollary to Parkinson’s 1st Law

 

96        Work expands to fill the space available

 #Laws4u        Parkinson’s 1st Law

 

97        If 2 wrongs don’t make a right, try 3

#Laws4u        Nixon’s Principle

 

98        Just when you get really good at something, you don’t need to do it anymore

#Laws4u    Lowery’s Law of Expertise

 

99        The ball shall not be in play until it has travelled forward the distance of its own circumference

#Laws4u         Rooney’s Law

 

The wider a culture is spread, the thinner it gets

100        #Laws4u Cultural Constant

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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