A Compendium of Tweets #Laws4u
If the bread fell butter side up, it was buttered on the wrong side
#Laws4u 100 Sod’s Law Redux
The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights
#Laws4u 99 Getty’s Reminder
The tyre is only flat on the bottom
#Laws4u 98 Fishbein’s Conclusion
Man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the grave
#Laws4u 97 Browne’s Epigram
Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them
#Laws4u 96 Boucicault’s Imperative
A Robin Redbreast in a cage, Puts all Heaven in a rage
#Laws4u 95 Blake’s Admonition
The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction
#Laws4u 94 Blake’s Law
If you can’t imagine a 20% loss in prices, don’t be in the stock market
#Laws4u 93 Boyle’s Share Axiom
What goes up must come down
#Laws4u 92 Gann’s Other Law
The Future’s Market will go up the day after you sell
#Laws4u 91 Broker’s By-Law
The market will rally from this or lower levels
#Laws4u 90 Stockbroker’s Law
Delay is the deadliest form of denial
#Laws4u 89 Parkinson’s Law of Denial
Any clause providing for alternative correct clauses means both are wrong
#Laws4u 88 Yoseloff’s Law of Statute
4 is 1 more than more than enough
#Laws4u 87 Pastore’s Liquor Law
Celibacy is not hereditary
#Laws4u 86 First Law of Socio-Genetics
Things always fall at right angles
#Laws4u 85 Sprinkle’s Paradigm
Everything sooner or later falls apart
#Laws4u 84 Xerxe’s Imperative
If you’re coasting, you’re going downhill
#Laws4u83 Pierson’s Law
ZZZZ
#Laws4u 82
Steps for Beating Procrastination http://sbt.me/2yl by @DanSchawbel
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on
#Laws4u 81 Goldwyn’s Contract Law
Some of it plus the rest of it equals all of it
#Laws4u 80 Trichologist’s Law
Even God can’t change the past
#Laws4u 79 […..]
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If it should exist, it doesn’t
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If it does exist, it’s out of date
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Only useless documentation transcends the first two laws
#Laws4u 78 Arnold’s Law of Documentation
If at first you don’t succeed, read the manual
#Laws4u 77 Agathon’s Law
“….”
#Laws4u 76 Montgomory’s Admonition
Bad regulation begets worse regulation
#Laws4u 75 Mobil’s Law
Somewhere, beyond space and time, is wetter water, slimier slime
#Laws4u 66 Brooke’s Law
More will mean worse
#Laws4u 65 Kingsley Amis’s Rule
The more alternatives, the more difficult the choice
#Laws4u 64 D’Allainvval’s Laws of Choice
Natural laws have no pity (Mother nature is not benign)
#Laws4u 55 Murphy’s 8th Law
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw
#Laws4u 54 Murphy’s 7th Law
“……”
#Laws4u 74 Baruch’s Observation
#Laws4u 73
#Laws4u 72
Law of Perception
Trust everybody, but cut the card
#Laws4u 71 Dooley’s Law
Virtue is its own punishment
Denniston’s Law:
The wider a culture is spread, the thinner it gets
#Laws4u 70 Cultural Constant
The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets
#Laws4u 69 J Alfred Prufrock’s Omission
Things are more like they are now than ever before
#Laws4u 68 Ike’s Paradox
Last year’s was always better
#Laws4u 67 Law of Regressive Achievement
Somewhere, beyond space and time, is wetter water, slimier slime
#Laws4u 66 Brooke’s Law
#Laws4u 65 Kingsley Amis’s Rule:
More will mean worse
The more alternatives, the more difficult the choice
#Laws4u 64 D’Allainvval’s Laws of Choice
Here’s tae is; wha’s like us? Gae few, and they’re a’ deid!
#Laws4u 63 Scot’s Law of Diminishing Returns
The sooner every party breaks up, the better. (Mr Woodhouse)
#Laws4u 62 Austen’s Party Law
Everybody should believe in something – I believe I’ll have another drink
#Laws4u 61 Dean Martin’s Postulate
#Laws4u 61 Steele’s Borrowed Aphorism
#Laws4u 60 Thurber’s Law
There is no safety in numbers – or in anything else
#Laws4u 59 May’s Law
The quality of the correlation is inversely proportional to the density of the control
#Laws4u 58 Lyall’s Conjecture
If a computer cable has one end, then it has another
#Laws4u 57 Willy’s Dicta
Those who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made
#Laws4u 56 Darwin ‘s Observation
Nature will tell you a direct lie or misrepresentation whenever possible.
#Laws4u 55 Murphy’s 8th Law
Natural laws have no pity
(Mother nature is not benign)
#Laws4u 54 Murphy’s 7th Law
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw
Laws4u 53
Multiplication is vexation, Division is as bad The rule of three doth puzzle me And Practice drives me mad
You can work for posterity, but if you can get posterity to work for you, you’re winning
#Laws4u 52 Addison’s Law
You pays your money and you takes your choice
#Laws4u 51 Hobson’s Other Law
When all else fails, read the instruction
#Laws4u 50 Walter’s Imprecation
It works better if you plug it in
#Laws4U 49 Sattinger’s Rule
Not much can go wrong with your computer, until you plug it in
#Laws4u 48 Murphy’s Law of Passive Imperatives
1 You can’t win
2 You can’t break even
3 You can’t even quit the game
#Laws4u 47 Ginsberg’s Laws of Thermodynamics
All people are cremated equal
#Laws4u 46 Beauregard’s Second Law
The sum which when multiplied, divided, added or subtracted from your answer gives what you needed
#Laws4u 45 Q Law
You can see a lot by just watching
#Laws4u 44 ……. Law of Observation
Old worms never die, they just worm their way in to bigger cans
#Laws4u 43 Zymurgy’s 2nd Law of System Dynamics
Once you open a can of worms, you can only re-can them by opening a bigger can
#Laws4u 42 Zymurgy’s 1st Law
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less
#Laws4u 41 Expert Precept
To spot the expert, see who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most
#Law4u 40 Expert’s Law
Nothing comes from nothing
#Laws4u 39 Lear’s Law of Tragedy
Familiarity breeds children
#Laws4u 38 Twain’s Law of Immutable Inevitability
It ain’t necessarily so
#Laws4u 37 Gershwin’s Law
Anything in parentheses can be (ignored)
#Laws4u 36 Seeger’s Law
You can work for posterity, but if you can get posterity to work for you, you’re winning
#Laws4u 35 Hayes Law
Given enough time, what you put off doing today will eventually get done by itself
#Laws4u 34 Law of Inertia
You need three umbrellas; one to leave at home, one to leave in the office, one to leave on the train
#Laws4u 33 ……..
#Laws4u 32 Rule of Selective Equality
All things being equal, all things are never equal
#Laws4u 31 Murphy’s Law of Paradox
Doing it the hard way is always easier
#Laws4u 30 Law of Murphy’s Law
Murphy’s Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by someone else with the same name
You can pretend to be serious you can’t pretend to be witty
Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)
#laws4u 29 Law of History
What we learn from history is –
That we don’t learn from history
#Laws4u 28 Abraham Lincoln’s Retrospective Rule
Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet
If I’d asked what they wanted, they’d have said “a faster horse
#Laws4u 27 Henry Ford’s rule of Customer Surveys
Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut
#Laws4u 26 Barber’s Law of Experts
Just when you get really good at something, you don’t need to do it anymore
#Laws4u 25 Lowery’s Law of Expertise
You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on
#Laws4u 25 Dean Martin’s Rule of Intoxication
Don’t interview Emu
#Laws4u 24 Corollary to Parkinson’s 1st Law
Work expands to fill the space available
#Laws4u 23 Parkinson’s 1st Law
If 2 wrongs don’t make a right, try 3
#Laws4u 22 Nixon’s Principle
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on
#Laws4u 21 Goldwyn’s Law of Contracts
The ball shall not be in play until it has travelled forward the distance of its own circumference
#Laws4u 20 Rooney’s Law
Profanity is the one language understood by all programmers
#La[Or substitute your preferred sub-group]
ws4u 19 Troutman’s Postulate
Carelessly planned projects take 3x longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project only twice as long
#Laws4u 18 Golub’s Law
#Laws4u 18 Osborne’s Law
Variables won’t; constants aren’t
#Laws4u 17 Cheop’s Law
Nothing ever gets built on time or within budget
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Everybody makes generalisations
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All generalisations are false
#Laws4u 16 Law of Generalisations
The Golden Rule is – that there are no Golden Rules
#Laws4u 15 GB Shaw; Man & Superman
#Laws4u 14 Gumperson’s Law
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability
#Laws4u 13 Corollary to Murphy’s 7th Law
In Nature, nothing is right. Accordingly, if everything is going right….something is wrong.
#Laws4u 12 Murphy’s 9th Law
Natural laws have no pity (AKA: “Mother Nature is a bitch”)
#Laws4u 11 Murphy’s 8th Law
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw
?????
Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in
#Laws4U 10 Forsyth’s Second Corollary to Murphy’s Laws
Words with a K in them are funny.
If it doesn’t have a K in, it’s not funny.
Viz. Kipper, pikelet, wicket are funny, but
#Law4U9 K Rule
Beware of and eschew pompous prolixity
#Laws4U 8 Beardsley’s Admonition to Lawyers
XXXXX
#Laws4U 7 Murphy’s 6th Law
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse
#Laws4 6 Murphy’s 5th Corollary
Where several things may go wrong, the one causing most damage will be the first to go wrong
#Laws4U 5 Murphy’s 2nd Law
If anything just can’t go wrong, it will anyway
#Laws4U 4 Murphy’s 3rd Law
Anything that is to go wrong will do so at the worst possible moment
#Laws 4U 3 First Corollary to Sod’s Law
Murphy was an optimist
#Laws4U 2 O’Toole’s Commentary on Murphy’s Law
If anything can go wrong, it will
#Laws4U 1 Sod’s Law (Murphy’s Law)
