#Laws4U – Laws 4 Life

A Compendium of Tweets #Laws4u 


1          If anything can go wrong, it will

#Laws4U      Sod’s Law (Murphy’s Law) 


2         Murphy was an optimist

 #Laws4U       O’Toole’s Commentary on Murphy’s Law


3          Anything that is to go wrong will do so at the worst possible moment

 #Laws4U        First Corollary to Sod’s Law


4          If anything just can’t go wrong, it will anyway

 #Laws4U        Murphy’s 3rd Law


5          Where several things may go wrong, the one causing most damage will be the first to go wrong

#Laws4U         Murphy’s 2nd Law


6          Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse

#Laws4 Murphy’s 5th Corollary 


7          If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

#Laws4U       Murphy’s 6th Law


8          Beware of, resist and eschew pompous prolixity

#Laws4U         Beardsley’s Admonition to Lawyers


9          Variables won’t; constants aren’t

#Laws4u     Osborne’s Law


10         Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in

#Laws4U         Forsyth’s Second Corollary to Murphy’s Laws


11        Nature always sides with the hidden flaw 

#Laws4u     Murphy’s 8th Law


12        Natural laws have no pity (AKA: “Mother Nature is a bitch”)

#Laws4u        Murphy’s 9th Law


13        In Nature, nothing is right. Accordingly, if everything is going right….something is wrong.

#Laws4u        Corollary to Murphy’s 7th Law


14        The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability

#Laws4u        Gumperson’s Law


15        The Golden Rule is – that there are no Golden Rules

#Laws4u     GB Shaw’s Golden Rule


16        1. Everybody makes generalisations

  1. All generalisations are false

 #Laws4u       Law of Generalisations


17        Nothing ever gets built on time or within budget

#Laws4u       Cheop’s Law


18        Carelessly planned projects take 3x longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project only twice as long

 #Laws4u      Golub’s Law


19        You can pretend to be serious you can’t pretend to be witty

#Laws4u    Guitry’s Postulate


 20        If the bread fell butter side up, it was buttered on the wrong side

#Laws4u    Sod’s Law Redux


21        The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights

#Laws4u    Getty’s Reminder 


22        The tyre is only flat on the bottom

#Laws4u    Fishbein’s Conclusion


23        Man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the grave

#Laws4u     Browne’s Epigram


24        Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them

#Laws4u     Boucicault’s Imperative 


25        A Robin Redbreast in a cage, Puts all Heaven in a rage

 #Laws4u    Blake’s Admonition 


26         The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction

#Laws4u       Blake’s Law


27        If you can’t imagine a 20% loss in prices, don’t be in the stock market

#Laws4u    Boyle’s Share Axiom


28        What goes up must come down

 #Laws4u    Gann’s Other Law


29        The Future’s Market will go up the day after you sell

#Laws4u    Broker’s By-Law


30        The market will rally from this or lower levels

#Laws4u    Stockbroker’s Law


31        Delay is the deadliest form of denial

#Laws4u    Parkinson’s Law of Denial


32      Any clause providing for alternative correct clauses means both are wrong

#Laws4u Yoseloff’s Law of Statute


33        4 is 1 more than more than enough

 #Laws4u    Pastore’s Liquor Law


34        Celibacy is not hereditary

#Laws4u     First Law of Socio-Genetics


35        Things always fall at right angles

#Laws4u    Sprinkle’s Paradigm


36        Everything sooner or later falls apart

  #Laws4u       Xerxe’s Imperative


37        If you’re coasting, you’re going downhill

#Laws4u         Pierson’s Law


38        Even with a 5 year old (A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on)

#Laws4u         Corrolary to Goldwyn’s Contract Law


39        A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on

#Laws4u    Goldwyn’s Contract Law


40         Some of it plus the rest of it equals all of it

#Laws4u         Trichologist’s Law


41        Even God can’t change the past, though historians can

#Laws4u         Butler’s Aphorism


42        If it should exist, it doesn’t

  1. If it does exist, it’s out of date
  2. Only useless documentation transcends the first two laws

#Laws4u           Arnold’s Law of Documentation


43        If at first you don’t succeed, read the manual

#Laws4u     Agathon’s Law


44        Bad regulation begets worse regulation

 #Laws4u   Montgomory’s Admonition


45        If All You Have Is A Hammer, Everything Looks Like A Nail

#Laws4u     Baruch’s Observation


46        Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men

#Laws4u    Huxley’s Imprecation


47        Misery is a match that never goes out

#Laws4u         Huxley’s Axiom


48        Virtue is its own punishment

#Laws4u          Denniston’s Law


49        Trust everybody, but cut the card

 #Laws4u    Dooley’s Law


50        The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets

#Laws4u      J Alfred Prufrock’s Omission


51        Things are more like they are now than ever before

#Laws4u             Ike’s Paradox


52        Last year’s was always better

#Laws4u       Law of Regressive Achievement


53        Somewhere, beyond space and time, is wetter water, slimier slime

#Laws4u      Brooke’s Law


54         More will mean worse

#Laws4u       Kingsley Amis’s Rule


55        The more alternatives, the more difficult the choice

 #Laws4u           D’Allainvval’s Laws of Choice


56        Here’s tae us; wha’s like us? Gae few, and they’re a’ deid!

#Laws4u         Scot’s Law of Diminishing Returns


57        The sooner every party breaks up, the better (Mr Woodhouse)

#Laws4u       Austen’s Party Law


58        Everybody should believe in something – I believe I’ll have another drink

#Laws4u         Dean Martin’s Postulate


 59        There is no safety in numbers – or in anything else

 #Laws4u    Thurber’s Law


60        The quality of the correlation is inversely proportional to the density of the control

#Laws4u     May’s Law


61        If a computer cable has one end, then it has another

 #Laws4u   Lyall’s Conjecture


62        Those who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made

#Laws4u      Willy’s Dicta


63        Nature will tell you a direct lie or misrepresentation whenever possible

 #Laws4u      Darwin ‘s Observation


64        Natural laws have no pity (Mother nature is not benign)

#Laws4u         Murphy’s 8th Law


65        Nature always sides with the hidden flaw

#Laws4u         Murphy’s 7th Law


66        Multiplication is vexation, Division is as bad, The rule of three doth puzzle me, And Practice drives me mad

#Laws4u         Napier’s Algorithm


67        Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn’t expect to be paid back.

#Laws4u   Steele’s Borrowed Aphorism


68        You pays your money and you takes your choice

#Laws4u      Hobson’s Other Law


69        When all else fails, read the instruction

#Laws4u    Walter’s Imprecation


70        It works better if you plug it in

#Laws4U             Sattinger’s Rule


71        Not much can go wrong with your computer, until you plug it in

  #Laws4u       Murphy’s Law of Passive Imperatives


72         1 You can’t win

2 You can’t break even

3 You can’t even quit the game

#Laws4u        Ginsberg’s Laws of Thermodynamics


73        All people are cremated equal

#Laws4u      Beauregard’s Second Law


74        The sum which when multiplied, divided, added or subtracted from your answer gives what you needed

#Laws4u      Q Law


75        You can see a lot by just watching

 #Laws4u        Law of Observation


76        Old worms never die, they just worm their way in to bigger cans

#Laws4u         Zymurgy’s 2nd Law of System Dynamics


77        Once you open a can of worms, you can only re-can them by opening a bigger can

#Laws4u            Zymurgy’s 1st Law of System Dynamics


78        An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less

#Laws4u      Expert Precept


79        To spot the expert, see who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most

#Laws4u      Expert’s Law


80        Nothing comes from nothing

#Laws4u      Lear’s Law of Tragedy


81        Familiarity breeds children

#Laws4u       Twain’s Law of Immutable Inevitability


82        It ain’t necessarily so

#Laws4u       Gershwin’s Law


Anything in parentheses can be (ignored)

83  #Laws4u     Seeger’s Law


84        You can work for posterity, but if you can get posterity to work for you, you’re winning

#Laws4u  Posterity Law


85        Given enough time, what you put off doing today will eventually get done by itself

#Laws4u    Law of Inertia


86        You need three umbrellas; one to leave at home, one to leave in the office, one to leave on the train

#Laws4u         Umbrella Maxim


87       All things being equal, all things are never equal

#Laws4u      Rule of Selective Equality


88        Doing it the hard way is always easier

 #Laws4u     Murphy’s Law of Paradox


89        Murphy’s Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by someone else with the same name

#Laws4u      Law of Murphy’s Law


90         What we learn from history is – that we don’t learn from history

#Laws4u    Law of History


91        Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet

#Laws4u     Abraham Lincoln’s Retrospective Rule


92        If I’d asked what they wanted, they’d have said “a faster horse”

 #Laws4u       Henry Ford’s rule of Customer Surveys


93        Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut

#Laws4u   Barber’s Law of Experts


94        You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on

 #Laws4u    Dean Martin’s Rule of Intoxication


95        Don’t interview Emu

#Laws4u     Corollary to Parkinson’s 1st Law


96        Work expands to fill the space available

 #Laws4u        Parkinson’s 1st Law


97        If 2 wrongs don’t make a right, try 3

#Laws4u        Nixon’s Principle


98        Just when you get really good at something, you don’t need to do it anymore

#Laws4u    Lowery’s Law of Expertise


99        The ball shall not be in play until it has travelled forward the distance of its own circumference

#Laws4u         Rooney’s Law


The wider a culture is spread, the thinner it gets

100        #Laws4u Cultural Constant