#Laws4U – Laws 4 Life

A Compendium of Tweets #Laws4u 

 

If the bread fell butter side up, it was buttered on the wrong side

#Laws4u 100    Sod’s Law Redux

 

The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights

#Laws4u 99    Getty’s Reminder 

 

The tyre is only flat on the bottom

#Laws4u 98    Fishbein’s Conclusion

 

Man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the grave

#Laws4u 97    Browne’s Epigram

 

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them

#Laws4u 96    Boucicault’s Imperative 

 

A Robin Redbreast in a cage, Puts all Heaven in a rage

#Laws4u 95    Blake’s Admonition 

 

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction

#Laws4u 94    Blake’s Law

 

If you can’t imagine a 20% loss in prices, don’t be in the stock market

#Laws4u 93    Boyle’s Share Axiom

 

What goes up must come down

#Laws4u 92    Gann’s Other Law

 

The Future’s Market will go up the day after you sell

#Laws4u 91    Broker’s By-Law

 

The market will rally from this or lower levels

#Laws4u 90    Stockbroker’s Law

 

Delay is the deadliest form of denial

#Laws4u 89    Parkinson’s Law of Denial

 

Any clause providing for alternative correct clauses means both are wrong

#Laws4u 88    Yoseloff’s Law of Statute

 

4 is 1 more than more than enough

#Laws4u 87    Pastore’s Liquor Law

 

Celibacy is not hereditary

#Laws4u 86     First Law of Socio-Genetics

 

Things always fall at right angles

#Laws4u 85    Sprinkle’s Paradigm

 

Everything sooner or later falls apart

#Laws4u 84    Xerxe’s Imperative

 

If you’re coasting, you’re going downhill

#Laws4u83         Pierson’s Law

 

ZZZZ

#Laws4u 82

 

Steps for Beating Procrastination http://sbt.me/2yl  by @DanSchawbel

 

 

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on

#Laws4u 81    Goldwyn’s Contract Law

 

Some of it plus the rest of it equals all of it

#Laws4u 80    Trichologist’s Law

 

Even God can’t change the past

#Laws4u 79 […..]

 

  1. If it should exist, it doesn’t

  2. If it does exist, it’s out of date

  3. Only useless documentation transcends the first two laws

#Laws4u 78           Arnold’s Law of Documentation

 

If at first you don’t succeed, read the manual

#Laws4u 77    Agathon’s Law

 

“….”

#Laws4u 76   Montgomory’s Admonition

 

 

Bad regulation begets worse regulation

#Laws4u 75    Mobil’s Law

 

 

 

 

 Somewhere, beyond space and time, is wetter water, slimier slime

#Laws4u 66     Brooke’s Law

 

More will mean worse

#Laws4u 65    Kingsley Amis’s Rule

 

The more alternatives, the more difficult the choice

#Laws4u 64     D’Allainvval’s Laws of Choice  

 

Natural laws have no pity (Mother nature is not benign)

#Laws4u 55    Murphy’s 8th Law

 

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw

#Laws4u 54    Murphy’s 7th Law

 

 

 

“……”

#Laws4u 74     Baruch’s Observation

 

#Laws4u 73

 

 

http://t.co/ZQisV7tARE

#Laws4u 72

Law of Perception

 

Trust everybody, but cut the card

#Laws4u 71    Dooley’s Law

 Virtue is its own punishment

Denniston’s Law:

 

The wider a culture is spread, the thinner it gets

#Laws4u 70         Cultural Constant

 

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets

#Laws4u 69      J Alfred Prufrock’s Omission

 

Things are more like they are now than ever before

#Laws4u 68             Ike’s Paradox

 

Last year’s was always better

#Laws4u 67       Law of Regressive Achievement

 

Somewhere, beyond space and time, is wetter water, slimier slime

#Laws4u 66      Brooke’s Law

 

 

#Laws4u 65       Kingsley Amis’s Rule:

More will mean worse

 

 

The more alternatives, the more difficult the choice

#Laws4u 64           D’Allainvval’s Laws of Choice

 

Here’s tae is; wha’s like us? Gae few, and they’re a’ deid!

#Laws4u 63         Scot’s Law of Diminishing Returns

 

 

The sooner every party breaks up, the better. (Mr Woodhouse)

#Laws4u 62       Austen’s Party Law

 

Everybody should believe in something – I believe I’ll have another drink

#Laws4u 61  Dean Martin’s Postulate

 

#Laws4u 61     Steele’s Borrowed Aphorism

 

 

 

#Laws4u 60    Thurber’s Law

There is no safety in numbers – or in anything else

 

#Laws4u 59     May’s Law

The quality of the correlation is inversely proportional to the density of the control

 

#Laws4u 58     Lyall’s Conjecture

If a computer cable has one end, then it has another

 

#Laws4u 57      Willy’s Dicta

Those who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made

 

#Laws4u 56      Darwin ‘s Observation

Nature will tell you a direct lie or misrepresentation whenever possible.

 

#Laws4u 55      Murphy’s 8th Law

Natural laws have no pity

(Mother nature is not benign)

#Laws4u 54    Murphy’s 7th Law

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw

 

 

Laws4u 53

Multiplication is vexation, Division is as bad The rule of three doth puzzle me And Practice drives me mad

 

 

You can work for posterity, but if you can get posterity to work for you, you’re winning

#Laws4u 52      Addison’s Law

 

You pays your money and you takes your choice

#Laws4u 51      Hobson’s Other Law

 

 

When all else fails, read the instruction

#Laws4u 50      Walter’s Imprecation

 

It works better if you plug it in

#Laws4U 49             Sattinger’s Rule

 

Not much can go wrong with your computer, until you plug it in

#Laws4u 48       Murphy’s Law of Passive Imperatives

 

1 You can’t win

2 You can’t break even

3 You can’t even quit the game

#Laws4u 47          Ginsberg’s Laws of Thermodynamics

 

All people are cremated equal

#Laws4u 46      Beauregard’s Second Law

 

 

The sum which when multiplied, divided, added or subtracted from your answer gives what you needed

#Laws4u 45      Q Law

 

You can see a lot by just watching

#Laws4u 44    ……. Law of Observation

 

Old worms never die, they just worm their way in to bigger cans

#Laws4u 43         Zymurgy’s 2nd Law of System Dynamics

 

Once you open a can of worms, you can only re-can them by opening a bigger can

#Laws4u 42            Zymurgy’s 1st Law

 

An expert  is one who knows more and more about less and less

#Laws4u 41      Expert Precept

 

To spot the expert, see who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most

#Law4u 40      Expert’s Law

 

Nothing comes from nothing

#Laws4u 39      Lear’s Law of Tragedy

 

Familiarity breeds children

#Laws4u 38       Twain’s Law of Immutable Inevitability

 

It ain’t necessarily so

#Laws4u 37       Gershwin’s Law

 

Anything in parentheses can be (ignored)

#Laws4u 36     Seeger’s Law

 

You can work for posterity, but if you can get posterity to work for you, you’re winning

#Laws4u 35   Hayes Law

 

Given enough time, what you put off doing today will eventually get done by itself

 

#Laws4u 34      Law of Inertia

 

You need three umbrellas; one to leave at home, one to leave in the office, one to leave on the train

#Laws4u 33 ……..

 

 

 

#Laws4u 32      Rule of Selective Equality

All things being equal, all things are never equal

 

#Laws4u 31     Murphy’s Law of Paradox

Doing it the hard way is always easier

 

#Laws4u 30      Law of Murphy’s Law

Murphy’s Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by someone else with the same name

 

You can pretend to be serious you can’t pretend to be witty

Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

 

#laws4u 29    Law of History

What we learn from history is –

That we don’t learn from history

 

#Laws4u 28     Abraham Lincoln’s Retrospective Rule

Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet

 

If I’d asked what they wanted, they’d have said “a faster horse

#Laws4u 27       Henry Ford’s rule of Customer Surveys

 

 

Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut

#Laws4u 26   Barber’s Law of Experts

 

 

Just when you get really good at something, you don’t need to do it anymore

#Laws4u 25    Lowery’s Law of Expertise

 

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on

#Laws4u 25    Dean Martin’s Rule of Intoxication

 

 

Don’t interview Emu

#Laws4u 24     Corollary to Parkinson’s 1st Law

 

 

Work expands to fill the space available

#Laws4u 23 Parkinson’s 1st Law

 

 

If 2 wrongs don’t make a right, try 3

#Laws4u 22 Nixon’s Principle

 

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on

#Laws4u 21 Goldwyn’s Law of Contracts

 

The ball shall not be in play until it has travelled forward the distance of its own circumference

#Laws4u 20     Rooney’s Law

 

Profanity is the one language understood by all programmers

#La[Or substitute your preferred sub-group]

ws4u 19    Troutman’s Postulate

 

Carelessly planned projects take 3x longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project only twice as long

#Laws4u 18      Golub’s Law

 

#Laws4u 18       Osborne’s Law

Variables won’t; constants aren’t

 

#Laws4u 17       Cheop’s Law

Nothing ever gets built on time or within budget

 

  1. Everybody makes generalisations

  2. All generalisations are false

#Laws4u 16       Law of Generalisations

 

 

 

 

The Golden Rule is – that there are no Golden Rules

#Laws4u 15     GB Shaw; Man & Superman

 

 

 

#Laws4u 14 Gumperson’s Law

 

The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability

#Laws4u 13 Corollary to Murphy’s 7th Law

 

In Nature, nothing is right. Accordingly, if everything is going right….something is wrong.

#Laws4u 12 Murphy’s 9th Law

 

Natural laws have no pity (AKA: “Mother Nature is a bitch”)

#Laws4u 11     Murphy’s 8th Law

 

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw

 

?????

 

Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in

#Laws4U 10 Forsyth’s Second Corollary to Murphy’s Laws

 

 

Words with a K in them are funny.

If it doesn’t have a K in, it’s not funny.

 

Viz. Kipper, pikelet, wicket are funny, but

#Law4U9       K Rule

 

Beware of and eschew pompous prolixity

#Laws4U 8     Beardsley’s Admonition to Lawyers

 

XXXXX

#Laws4U 7 Murphy’s 6th Law

 

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse

#Laws4  6     Murphy’s 5th Corollary 

 

Where several things may go wrong, the one causing most damage will be the first to go wrong

#Laws4U 5         Murphy’s 2nd Law

 

If anything just can’t go wrong, it will anyway

#Laws4U 4   Murphy’s 3rd Law

 

Anything that is to go wrong will do so at the worst possible moment

#Laws 4U 3 First Corollary to Sod’s Law

 

Murphy was an optimist

#Laws4U 2       O’Toole’s Commentary on Murphy’s Law

 

If anything can go wrong, it will

#Laws4U 1      Sod’s Law (Murphy’s Law) 

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